Thursday, March 21, 2013

Sunny Days

     Sunny days like this are days that make me miss home... make me miss home in a good way.
     Sunny days like this are days when I recall watching the small, wispy clouds roll overhead with my hair blowing slightly in the breeze, listening to birds and frogs and bees all doing their thing so close by... something I took for granted every day of my life and now wish for.
     Sunny days like this are days when I long for that ever-hated humidity to soak through my clothes and stick to my skin, making me curse the heat and dream for the air conditioned inside of my mom's welcoming and loving home (and let me tell you, I never thought I'd crave that).
     Sunny days like this are days when I wish I were more of an outdoor girl, for those rare moments when I'd participate in family volleyball games or a walk in Richland Park with Lucy and James or an adventurous trek through the woods.
     Sunny days like this are days that I crave burgers and dogs on the grill, eating outside, and watching the sunset, especially in the company of my loved ones.
     Sunny days like this are days when I miss after-school band practice or settling in for a night of watching my brother play soccer or enjoying my then-boyfriend/now-husband do his thing on a tennis court.
     Sunny days like this are days when I can close my eyes and remember the heat swelling up from the inside of my mom's school bus, after everyone had been dropped off and I went to the back to enjoy the bumps and curves of the backroads home.
     Sunny days like this are days when I can hear my dad starting up the lawn mower and filling our house with the scent of freshly cut grass, coming in darkened by the sun and soaked with sweat.
     Sunny days like this are days that I long for a dip in my best friend's pool or an afternoon at the country club or a run through our backyard being soaked by the water hose.

I know it's sunny everywhere at one point or another, but for some reason I relate bright, beautiful days like today with home and it takes me back.  Back to those days when we'd wake up early on a Saturday, open all the windows, blast some music on the record player and dance around while we cleaned or made brunch or just... were.  Back to those days where the hardest decision I had to make was what games we were gonna play or who we were inviting over for dinner.  Back to those days when I longed for the cool of the night to take over and I could hang my head out the window and see the stars for miles.  Back to those days when things were simpler, easier, less stressful.

And not that I can't have wonderful experiences like that here, but it just isn't the same.  It's not home.  And until I came here, I never even realized how much I loved home.  Until I came here, I only ever longed to get out of there.  But there is comfortable and familiar and warm and not a bad place to be.

There is where I'd rather be.

But I'm here.  And here isn't as bad as I could imagine.  It's certainly not ideal, but it's not horrible.

It's just far.

And that farness only makes me long for those sunny days back home.

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