Tuesday, July 15, 2014

dreaded routine and here's to all of YOU

As I sit here in my sweat-drenched, post-workout clothes stinking to high heaven, I'm reminded yet again why it is I hate working out/running/exerting physical effort at all.  The smell/sweat combo afterwards is definitely #1... I dunno about y'all but I am SOAKED after every workout and the smell can oftentimes be gag-inducing; hazmat suits are needed to launder my running clothes, this is not an exaggeration.  Then a very close #2 is the intense water-deprived, overheated, exhaustion migraine I get as I cool down, which then proceeds to stay with me for a few hours.  #3 is probably the fatigued, drained stupor that keeps me from summoning the energy needed for a shower.  #4, that'd be the insane hunger that slowly follows because I'm going to want to consume WAY more food then I just burned off.  When I finally do get the strength to peel off my rank, sticky wear and find the perfectly temperatured water to slowly step into, my stomach growls the entire time allowing me 10-20 minutes of uninterrupted pondering on every unhealthy craving only a fat-kid-at-heart such as myself can muster up.  I towel off and encounter reason #5 why I hate torturing myself with a daily routine - glancing my naked body in the mirror, holding every reason why I am doing what I'm doing, but eventually not feeling as if I'm actually accomplishing anything because I see no real progress in myself.  Eventually I put on some music to jam to,  dragging myself out of the funk, get dressed, and usually arrive at reason #6 - none of my clothes fitting.  I realize, huh maybe I am losing weight since NOTHING fits... me being the pessimist I am, I'm not going to go buy new clothes until I hit my goal and stay steady there for at least three months, just in case I fail miserably and put this weight back on, leaving me with baggy, ugly, frumpy everything.  I put something on and head to the kitchen in hopes of satisfying my hunger, realizing that if I (reason #7) bargain with myself, I can rationalize and logic away how eating an entire bag of Doritos with a side of Pepsi and chocolate cake is justified since I just burned so many... *glances at heart rate monitor* "ONLY 350 calories burned! What the ffuuu...!!!" making reason #8 pop up, feeling as if I've put in as much effort into that run as an Olympic athlete going for gold.  I grab some fruit, a water, and perhaps 20 pretzels or so, coming to the conclusion I'll be starving all day (#9), and drown my sorrows in glorious screenshots of my favorite fictional characters until tomorrow's workout, where the cycle will restart and continue again.

But let's be serious here... I'm still gonna do it.  Call it determination, strength, drive, what have you, but to me, I made a promise to myself and I'm going to keep it, even if I hate it every single day.  Weighing in this month and seeing I'd gained a pound was extremely disappointing to me.  I've had a slew of encouragement and kind words from you guys...

You honestly don't know what it means to have so many people encouraging and in my corner.  I am lucky to have people who notice and speak out... A thousand thank yous to each of you could never express the elation I feel with each positive comment I receive.  It helps more than you know and gets me through the days when I just want to eat everything in sight and give up.  So please don't stop being you, and hopefully you can help take some credit when I achieve my goal!  I'll chalk the pound gained up to taking a vacation and getting sunburned, putting me out of solid workout commission for about two weeks, and maybe say that this hopefully temporary plateau is proof that I'm building some muscle.  In any case, I'll keep you all updated, per usual!  I'll be posting some pics from vacation soon, so don't stay away too long.

Until next time...

It's really time to shower now... ppeewwwww!