Wednesday, May 29, 2013


          She jolted awake, sweat rolling down her face, trickling slowly from her hairline to her jaw.  Her chest heaving up and down as she tried desperately to calm her rampant heartbeat to normal, she allowed her dilated pupils to take in her surroundings   Every shadow held the possibility of something she feared, something unknown.  Her trembling body moved her entire mattress, filling the once-silent room with a soft, repetitive squeak giving way from the old bed frame.  She reached up and ran those shaking hands down her face in an attempt to brush off the panic flooding through her, a panic that she just couldn't seem to shake.
          Her roommate Jude burst through the door as he called out to her, "Liv!  Liv, are you okay?"
          Startled, she jumped at the commotion and cowered away from the door.  Realizing after a moment that there was nothing to fear, she reached out to him as he made his way to her bed.  He grasped onto her and she clung to him as if he were her only protection, her deliverance, her salvation.
          "Livvy, I heard you screaming from the other side of the apartment and I seriously... what...?  What is it this time?"  She could hear the worry and uneasiness in his voice.
          She refused to loosen her grip on him and only buried herself deeper within his embrace.  Now that the initial terror had worn down a bit, despair overwhelmed her, eliciting a free-flowing of tears, entirely out of her control.  Sobs wrecked her body, it was as if she was convulsing.  She cried out, further burrowing herself into Jude's chest; she knew the only way she would ever feel safe and calm again was if she could fold herself up inside him.
          He let her release it all onto him.  He didn't speak another word, but she could tell from the way his body quivered ever so slightly that he was just as fearful as she, but she knew it was for an entirely different reason.  She knew he feared for her sanity.  He'd seen things like this from her before and every time it happened he only grew more concerned.  He tried not to pry and she understood.  He didn't want her thinking that he was being nosy; he wanted to be there for her, and oh did she want him there.  She was sure he often wondered if there was something greater, something darker at work that she refused to share with him.
          There was.  But Olivia knew she could never tell him.  He wouldn't understand.  He would never allow her to lean on him in this way if he knew what she was, what she'd done, why these nightmares that seemed so real plagued her almost nightly.
          After a long time, a time that seemed like hours, she had cried herself back into sleep.  It wasn't a pleasant slumber that she'd fallen into, but it was one that her body desperately needed.  Jude contemplated what he should do.  His girlfriend Dana was in their bedroom, and he was sure she had grown quite suspicious of his absence by now.  When he'd bolted awake at the sounds of Olivia's mortifying shrieks, Dana had merely mumbled, "Oh my God, not again.  I swear she does it for the attention."
          "Dana, she's had nightmares since grade school.  It's not like she can control it.  I'm going in there."
          Dana opened her eyes and leaned up on her elbows. Glaring at him she snapped, "Seriously?  How much longer are you going to play into this?  She knows you'll go in there for her, like you always do, and that's what she wants Jude.  There are two other people in this house who can be her shoulder to cry on.  Leave it alone."
          Another gut-wrenching wail came and Jude knew that he had to go and comfort her.  As he flung himself towards to door he could hear Dana say, "You'd swear she was your girlfriend the way you always fawn over her."
          Now with Olivia clutching to him like a dying woman, he thought about the consequences of his actions.  Honestly, did he really care what Dana thought?  Olivia had been his best friend since they were in preschool.  He'd always been there for her and he imagined he always would be.  They were all each other had had for the longest time.  He knew that she had been like this ever since age ten when Olivia witnessed her mother commit suicide.  He knew that bad things always seemed to make their way to her as if the world was destined to turn this beautiful girl into a broken, blackened, damaged soul.  He knew things that she thought he didn't, but he'd never tell her because he knew how ashamed she'd be.  He needed her just as much as she needed him.  And he refused to let the evil she'd lived, that she was forced to dream, consume her; he knew he could be and he desperately wanted to be her savior.

Short and sweet... may add more another time.  Just had a hankerin'

Until next time...

Wednesday, May 22, 2013


Now that things have calmed down a bit... it's time to share that huge, super secret news that I had to keep under wraps - we went HOME!  Since January we were the proud owners of two, round-trip tickets to the states and on April 24th we rode the British Airways on over to America!  Only a few people knew, and the ultimate goal was to surprise each of our parents, which we did successfully!  Our first stop was in Orlando, FL, where we attended our dear friends' wedding.

The groom & my hubby!

The competition for which table eats first!

My handsome husband and me!
The bride had a very cute photo booth with props... we had a blast with it!
Getting in there for the garter!

Then we hit up Pensacola for a few days and chilled with the hubby's family that's there.  We spent a lot of time catching up and relaxing.  We were sure to get my hubby almost 8 pounds of fresh shrimp, something we can't get back home.

And finally we ended up in our quaint, quiet little town of Portland, TN where we spent 16 wonderful days (including our two-year wedding anniversary and Mother's Day) with a mix our families (mostly mine) and friends.  It was quite possibly the most at-ease I've felt in almost 9 months; oh and I ate some of the tastiest things I could get my hands on, lending to the almost 10 pounds I'm sure I gained - YIKES!  

Yeah... we don't get Mexican food in Italy!
Da kitty.
Anniversary Breakfast for my man: Over easy eggs, grits, cinnamon swirl toast,
honey nut cherrios, and chocolate milk!
On our way to celebrate our special day!  We went to the Hendersonville Park, fed the duckies and
swans & walked around for a bit in the breezy weather.  Then we went and played putt putt and the hubs
hit up the batting cages.  Then he took me to the Aquarium at Opry Mills Mall, which was where we
went for dinner the night of his senior prom about nine years ago!  It was beautiful and romantic and amazing!

Cookout/Game night with the fandamily!

Jess & Me at B-Dubs before we went to see The Great Gatsby!

A little bit of cornhole in the cold TN "spring"

We celebrated the hub's birthday a few days early since
we weren't there on his actual day!

Don, the goofball :)
Basically our trip was freaking fantastic!  There were certainly a few low points, as well as super high points.  I didn't get to spend as much time with my brother as I would've liked because he had to work a bunch, but I'm just glad that he's trying to be responsible in his life.  I also didn't really get as much time with my mom as I would've liked because she has to work for a living, but I did take advantage of every moment with her and tried to spoil her a bit on Mother's Day (I gave her pedicure and the hubs cleaned/detailed her van - something she's been asking us to do for like five years)!  I wish I could spend every day with her, letting her know how important she is my life, but growing up means going your own way.  So this will have to do until we hit the lottery and I can move her around with me wherever we go :)

Until next time...