So I've decided that I'm going to self-publish an e-book series. I'm currently in the process of writing the 1st book in the series, of which I'll probably make three or four, haven't decided yet. But it's the second "novel" I've ever worked on and intend to actually complete. The first one, though it's my baby, isn't really that good and it has absolutely NOTHING to do with the plot of this current project. In the future I might publish it just to get more work out there, but as of now, I'm keeping it under lock and key. I'm proud of it, don't get me wrong, but it's not really what I want to represent myself in the beginning. Anyway - this series, which I have yet to title as a whole - is along the supernatural side and is set in a more adult format while still maintaining a "young adult" quality. It's a paranormal romance of sorts and so far I find that I'm impressing even myself a bit (not to sound conceited or anything). Some of the connections I've made and actual real history and mythology I've introduced are clever and I'm seriously looking forward to developing it more - but mostly I'm super stoked about making myself public. Sure it'd be nice to make a little money off of it - but that's not why I'm doing this. I set my goal to be published by 25 and it seems in this day and age the best and quickest way to get out there is to do it yourself. So that's what I'm doing. The purpose of this is to simply gauge if anyone is interested in what I'm writing. Here's a tiny little blip from my currently unfinished manuscript - and though it doesn't really give any hint of supernatural in this particular clip, trust me the whole thing is littered with it. If it gets positive enough reactions I might just post another taste later on. Here goes nothing, a small excerpt from the first novel (in my untitled series) Temptation:
“Let’s just be honest. You’ve done everything you can to tell me you’re not interested, and sure, like you said before, you think I’m attractive, that’s great. But it doesn’t mean you’re actually into me. And if you’re just giving this a go with me because you’re hoping you’ll learn to like me or are holding out hope that you develop feelings for me… please don’t do that. I don’t want to force you into anything, you should know that by now, but I need honesty so that I don’t get so vested in this. I want to be in your life in whatever form you’re willing, but if my heart is going to be shattered, I need it done now before I fall in love with you.”
I didn’t realize that I was talking so fast, but as soon as I stopped talking, I felt my heart pounding and how deeply my chest was heaving up and down. My swollen hand wasn’t even an issue anymore. I’d actually balled both hands into fists, my knuckles turning white, and I realized how desperate and intense I sounded. I was scaring myself with the emotions swirling around inside me and how I’d projected them. I’d always been the guy who kept his feelings and thoughts to himself; this wasn’t normal for me and I was beginning to worry that maybe I was more dysfunctional than I thought I was.
She broke up my internal debate, “You say it with such conviction,” she whispered.
Her response threw me and my reaction was more involuntary than anything, “Say what?”
She looked into my eyes, but fear and caution were what lurked on her face, which I found an odd reaction to what came out of her mouth.
“That you’ll fall in love with me. Like it’s bound to happen. As if you’re already in the process of falling.”
“Well…” I said, licking my dry lips before continuing, “that’s probably because I am.”
She looked away then said, “Okay. Then I should clear up any confusion, because breaking your heart is not in my plan.”
She slowly let her head rise back up and when she looked at me this time, the fear was still prevalent, but I interpreted it as fear of putting herself out there, fear of rejection.
Before I could speak, she cut in, “I don’t know why you came up with the crazy idea that I don’t have feelings for you, because believe me… I do. There’s something about you that draws me in, something I… have no control over, as cliché as that sounds.”
“No, no…” I interjected, “I know exactly what you’re talking about. I don’t want to seem chauvinistic, but I’ve been with a lot of girls and I’ve never, ever felt this with any of them before. There’s this… I dunno, magnetism, this –”
“Yes! That’s what it feels like. When I’m around you I can –”
“Feel you there, like a steady pulse,” she whispered.
“Exactly,” I whispered back, completely freaking out inside. She was practically confirming what I’d been experiencing, what I’d been trying to convince myself wasn’t real.
“I don’t understand it… how it’s possible,” I finally managed to say, hoping that if it was linked to her “secret” maybe she might break her rule of waiting ‘til the right time and tell me right now.
“Me neither,” she finally managed to squeak out, practically ruining all hope I had of getting it out of her tonight. “But we’re clear, right… there’s no question that we have mutual feelings for each other? Feelings that extend way beyond just a friendship?”
I smiled at her, so glad that she could understand me, even through all this crazy talk and mystery.
“I know I told you that I’d take it slow, so in honor of that, let me just say…” I looked down a little embarrassed that I was about to say this. But honestly, I’d said so much already completely out of character, why not just add one more thing to the list, “I really want to kiss you right now.”
She blushed a deep red, “I appreciate your honesty… and your restraint.”
She stood and motioned towards the first hole, which was currently being played by a family of four, “Shall we do this then? Because I’d really like to kick your ass.”
I stood, ready to forget the majorly idiotic, uncharacteristic display that I’d just given, and prepared myself to actually have a good time with her.
So... thoughts? Feelings? Excited? Disappointed - let me know!
Oh, and thanks for reading (: