The best way to start off a new day and a new year is a good morning kiss from your husband... even if it was him saying goodbye to go to work. I already know 2014 has many things in store for the Cains, some of which I'm not quite at liberty to discuss yet, but I can say that I'm hopeful, nervous, and excited all at the same time. Here's my list, though I typically don't do this, because 2014 will be a year of accountability for me:
1. Pray more, but ask for less. This may need a bit of clarification. I'm a firm believer in God, though not a very good practicing Christian. I don't go to church, I swear, I judge others... the list could continue. But typically when I pray, I'm asking God to do something for me. I need to get in the habit of thanking Him simply for providing me another day on this earth and leave at that. Not to say I still don't need Him to intervene and take my burdens and make things happen for me and my family, but I should just be more appreciative without always wanting something.
2. Be a better wife. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I'm a pretty good companion, spouse, partner, whatever you wanna call it, already. I've always doted on my significant other, sometimes to the point of obsession, but as they say, it's the little things that matter, and that's where I need some work. I'm not perfect by ANY means, and there's always room for improvement. I say that this year, I'll dedicate more of my time to my husband's well-being. I'll encourage more and uplift more. I'll be more attentive to his needs in every way, even if each way is a minute amount of more. I'll be his shoulder to cry on even when he's too afraid to cry, and I'll be his person to celebrate with when things go better than expected. I'll make more of an effort to be romantic and loving, and I'll try to stop complaining about his career's place in our lives.
3. WRITE. This is the first time in MONTHS that I've even updated my blog. It's been almost 2 years since I've sat down and consistently worked on my current manuscript for my second book in my series. And I can make excuses about how it's Italy or I don't have inspiration or whatever, but honestly, I'm just being lazy. This is what I do and I'm not doing it. I will make a CONSCIOUS effort to dedicate a minimum of 15 minutes a day to writing in some way, shape, or form.
4. READ. I LOVE READING, but I've become addicted to the easy way out - watching TV shows. I'm generally a lazy person at heart and it's so much easier to click play than to fall into a fantasy world imagined completely with your mind. I will utilize my Nook more; I will invest in more tangible, paper-filled things for my bookshelves. I will visit our library on base and exercise my library card for the first time; I will do what I love and what has always fueled me.
5. Improve myself physically. This is technically a 2013 goal carried over since I started this at the beginning of December, but my goal is to drop 62 pounds by September. I've started a Couch-to-5K Program; I was gifted a stationary bicycle (thanks to my husband and mother) that I ride every day I'm not jogging; I've begun counting calories and eating healthier. I know that everyone always puts something like this on their "Resolution List," but this isn't something I want to resolve, this is something I want to change. This is something that will be maintained, not a fleeting idea that I hope I can continue. My biggest fear in my marriage is that my husband will no longer be attracted to me, and I can't let that happen. I can't progress down my spiraling path to a disgusting version of myself. I can't continue to make excuses as to why I've let it get to this point or why I don't care if this behavior is withheld. It won't be - as I said, it'll be changed. In the past 3 weeks of this program I've already grown stronger, physically and mentally, I've built muscle, lost a few pounds, and am finally sinking into a healthy eating groove. See me in 9 months and you'll discover I'm close to or at my goal and will have changed my eating habits and living habits for the better, not to mention my pants size.
6. Become debt free. This is another continued goal that my husband and I started at the beginning of 2013. Typically, it takes a while of dedicated financial strategy to fully become debt free, so this is something that we'll continue to achieve, though it probably won't come to full fruition until 2015. So far we've paid off two of our smaller debts and next month will be moving onto our third. By September we should finally be tackling the hub's dreaded student loans, and by this time next year be close to a debt free life. My ultimate goal is where we can pay for everything with cash! It may be difficult, what with the looming possible setbacks that life may have in store for us, but we're staying positive and will strive for financial stability for ourselves and future family.
7. Last but not least, be more attentive. To things in my life, in other people's lives, to the small stuff, to the big stuff. I used to remember every family member's birthday and send a card or gift; since being in Italy, that's gone out the window, and I want that to change. I'll get so wrapped up in what I'm doing that I don't even get off the couch to give my husband a kiss when he gets home from work, and I want that to change. Someone will ask me to go do something with them, genuinely needing some companionship, and I'll say no because I don't want to leave my house, and I want that to change. I have a list of the places I want to visit, I've been in Europe for almost two years, I've only crossed off three things, and I want that to change. I just want to be more of the giving soul that I've always been. I need to stop allowing my lazy lifestyle to become my primary focus. I need to stop using the excuse, "I went to school for 17 years straight and I'm taking a break" as to why I've not been more productive with my life over the past few years. It's time for me to take control of myself again.
Oh and 7.1 goal... put away my Christmas decorations :)
That is all. Until next time...
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